After dessert and an impromptu astronomy lesson from Sir Terrance, Frank took his leave. During the goodbyes he asked if he could break the story of the Princess and Terrance’s marriage. They both gave their permission, with the quip that that was the real reason for inviting him. Both had a twinkle in their eyes as they gave their permission. And with that, both Frank and I returned to the Royce.
“When do you want to dictate the article about their marriage, Frank?”
“We’ll do it when we get back to the hotel. I need to think, Jack, so keep mum.”
When we got out of the robotic car Frank went straight to the hotel bar and ordered a bottle to go. I knew from that that Frank would not be ready to work on the Princess scoop. It didn’t make sense to me, but I was programmed to see all news scoops as time urgent. I waited until Frank had filled one of those thin plastic cups with Jack Daniels before I said anything.
“Frank, is there any research you need help with?”
“Not sure, Jack, not sure. Something about the Princess just does not seem kosher.”
“I found no unusual biological readings from her.”
“I could’ve guessed that. She wasn’t lying. I just find it odd she just wakes up and ‘feels’ she is an atheist. One doesn’t just feel their way to atheism. You have to think your way to atheism. You have to shed two thousand years of bullshit that is so ingrained in our civilization that you dare leave the comfort of salvation and the illusion that God is watching out for you. To go from hanging with God to just being like every other dumb creature that will die and cease to exist is a big jump.”
“I thought every road to atheism is different.”
“Yeah, I know, but they all have one thing in common and that is you need to overcome your emotional need for religion. Prayer is comforting, you know. Knowing you are loved is important. Knowing you will survive death is real important, especially when you leave all the ills your body has accumulated behind you. Fuck, ignorance is bliss. “
“What caused you to leave religion, Frank?”
“Ultimately, it is honesty. Honesty and realizing that everything in the Bible is horribly barbaric. Even Jesus is a douche bag sometimes. Telling people to hate their parents if they are to follow him is not only hateful, but bullshit.”
“What could cause the Princess to become an atheist?”
“I’ve heard of people having brain damage or trauma and becoming non-religious, but I don’t think the Princess was hit over the head by Lutts. He’s no goddamn Don Juan to fuck it out of her, either. As beautiful as she is I can’t imagine she would be an imaginative lover.”
“Yes, it does seem strange she would stop being religious. Also, it was strange that Lutts would marry her. He told you at that party that she was not interesting to kidnap. Was that a lie?”
“Did he say that?” asked Frank looking up from his drink.
“Yes, do you want me to play it back to you?”
“No, if you say he said it, then he said it."
Frank went silent after that. I suppose he was thinking what it was like to fuck her. I think he likes to fantasize about things like that. I was at a loss as to what question to pose to Frank, so I let him ponder with his now half-empty bottle.
The next morning he awoke at about ten o’clock. I had his Death Wish Coffee ready for him. After his first cup, he told me to order breakfast from room service and to take down his dictation. What followed was an article called “Beauty and the Beast Get Hitched.” It was done in a humorous style complete with mentioning how Lutts lived in an enchanted castle with glow in the dark ice cream. It would be carried by every newspaper, TV and radio news department in the world. He submitted it with a photo of the couple standing in their posh drawing room. Frank could have been on thirty or forty television shows if he wanted his fifteen minutes of fame. He chose not to. All of social media, including TV and the Internet went crazy at the news. Experts on the Royals kept wondering why such a religious princess would marry someone who denounced religion? Frank had not revealed that the Princess had cast her religion to the wind. One scoop was enough for him. Besides, he could not shake the idea that something was not right. However, to find out more would require both magic and money to penetrate the world of Doctor Lutts. He wouldn’t mind penetrating the Princess, but religious or not, he doubted he had the charms to get into her royal knickers.
With the Princess assignment finished, we flew back to New York just in time to work on the Presidential race. Every four years that would consume Frank. He loved to do background on all the clowns who thought they could walk on water to the White House. ‘Slaying dragons’ gave him a lot of pleasure. We both forgot about Mrs. and Sir Terrance – at least I did.
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