After
dessert and an impromptu astronomy lesson from Sir Terrance, Frank took his
leave. During the goodbyes he asked
if he could break the story of the Princess and Terrance’s marriage. They both gave their permission, with
the quip that that was the real reason for inviting him. Both had a twinkle in their eyes as they
gave their permission. And with that, both Frank and I returned to
the Royce.
“When
do you want to dictate the article about their marriage,
Frank?”
“We’ll
do it when we get back to the hotel.
I need to think, Jack, so keep mum.”
When
we got out of the robotic car Frank went straight to the hotel bar and ordered a
bottle to go. I knew from that that
Frank would not be ready to work on the Princess scoop. It didn’t make sense to me, but I was
programmed to see all news scoops as time urgent. I waited until Frank had filled one of
those thin plastic cups with Jack Daniels before I said
anything.
“Frank,
is there any research you need help with?”
“Not
sure, Jack, not sure. Something
about the Princess just does not seem kosher.”
“I
found no unusual biological readings from her.”
“I
could’ve guessed that. She wasn’t
lying. I just find it odd she just
wakes up and ‘feels’ she is an atheist.
One doesn’t just feel their way to atheism. You have to think your way to
atheism. You have to shed two
thousand years of bullshit that is so ingrained in our civilization that you
dare leave the comfort of salvation and the illusion that God is watching out
for you. To go from hanging with
God to just being like every other dumb creature that will die and cease to
exist is a big jump.”
“I
thought every road to atheism is different.”
“Yeah,
I know, but they all have one thing in common and that is you need to overcome
your emotional need for religion.
Prayer is comforting, you know.
Knowing you are loved is important.
Knowing you will survive death is real important, especially when you
leave all the ills your body has accumulated behind you. Fuck, ignorance is bliss. “
“What
caused you to leave religion, Frank?”
“Ultimately,
it is honesty. Honesty and
realizing that everything in the Bible is horribly barbaric. Even Jesus is a douche bag
sometimes. Telling people to hate
their parents if they are to follow him is not only hateful, but
bullshit.”
“What
could cause the Princess to become an atheist?”
“I’ve
heard of people having brain damage or trauma and becoming non-religious, but I
don’t think the Princess was hit over the head by Lutts. He’s no goddamn Don Juan to fuck it out
of her, either. As beautiful as she
is I can’t imagine she would be an imaginative lover.”
“Yes,
it does seem strange she would stop being religious. Also, it was strange that Lutts would
marry her. He told you at that
party that she was not interesting to kidnap. Was that a lie?”
“Did
he say that?” asked Frank looking up from his drink.
“Yes,
do you want me to play it back to you?”
“No,
if you say he said it, then he said it."
Frank
went silent after that. I suppose
he was thinking what it was like to fuck her. I think he likes to fantasize about
things like that. I was at a loss as to what question to pose to Frank, so I let
him ponder with his now half-empty bottle.
The
next morning he awoke at about ten o’clock. I had his Death Wish Coffee ready for
him. After his first cup, he told
me to order breakfast from room service and to take down his dictation. What followed was an article called
“Beauty and the Beast Get Hitched.”
It was done in a humorous style complete with mentioning how Lutts lived
in an enchanted castle with glow in the dark ice cream. It would be carried by every newspaper,
TV and radio news department in the world.
He submitted it with a photo of the couple standing in their posh drawing
room. Frank could have been on
thirty or forty television shows if he wanted his fifteen minutes of fame. He chose not to. All of social media, including TV and
the Internet went crazy at the news.
Experts on the Royals kept wondering why such a religious princess would
marry someone who denounced religion?
Frank had not revealed that the Princess had cast her religion to the
wind. One scoop was enough for
him. Besides, he could not shake
the idea that something was not right.
However, to find out more would require both magic and money to penetrate
the world of Doctor Lutts. He
wouldn’t mind penetrating the Princess, but religious or not, he doubted he had
the charms to get into her royal knickers.
With
the Princess assignment finished, we flew back to New York just in time to work
on the Presidential race. Every
four years that would consume Frank.
He loved to do background on all the clowns who thought they could walk
on water to the White House.
‘Slaying dragons’ gave him a lot of pleasure. We both forgot about Mrs. and Sir
Terrance – at least I did.
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